We often place certain types of joy on a pedestal—big life events like getting married, earning a degree, or taking the trip of a lifetime. These milestones get labeled as the "ultimate" form of joy. In reality, joy isn't limited to major achievements or experiences that society says are significant.
When we compare our daily sources of joy to these top 10 events, we end up minimizing— or even overlooking—the smaller, but equally important and valuable, forms of joy that show up in everyday life.
If you're struggling to find joy in your relationship, this can feel especially isolating: there's a sense that you're missing out on a society-endorsed source of joy: a happy relationship. That feeling only adds to the exhaustion and uncertainty you might already be experiencing.
Stop Measuring and Start Valuing
How do you break free from the trap of comparing your joy to someone else's measuring stick? It starts with figuring out your own values. When you understand what's important to you, you stop judging your joy and start embracing it.
Recognize Everyday Joy
Do you savor that first sip of coffee or tea in the morning? Do you pause to watch how the sky turns soft shades of blue and pink at dusk? These small moments might not make anyone's top 10 list, but they're genuine, uplifting, and most importantly, they're yours. When you slow down and really notice them, you realize there's far more joy in your life than you ever gave yourself credit for.
Release the Need to Compare
Society often implies that hitting certain life milestones is the only real path to joy. But you get to decide what joy looks like in your own life. Let go of the idea that your joy must match someone else's. Celebrate the joy you find when you live according to your own values.
Embrace Authentic Choices
If your relationship doesn't bring you joy, remember that your well-being is a priority. You have every right to choose the path that lines up with your sense of purpose and happiness—even if it doesn't match your partner's. When you know your values, you're better equipped to make decisions about your relationship and your future.
Everyday Joy is Real Joy
You don't need a life-changing event or society's stamp of approval to feel genuine joy in your relationship. Often, the most mundane parts of our day can be the most nurturing—if we stop judging and start noticing them. By releasing someone else's standards, you make room for joy to arise from the simple, everyday details of life.
Remember: You are allowed to find joy in your life, on your terms.
When you focus on your values, you'll begin to notice the small, meaningful moments that make life worth living—even when the big picture feels uncertain. In doing so, you'll discover that true joy isn't about what society says it should be; it's about welcoming the cheer and happiness that already surrounds you every day.
Struggling to embrace joy in your relationship? You don't have to figure it out alone. Let's talk...
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